The best way to build rapport with your employees is actually by talking about the work. Work is what you have in common; in fact, it's the reason you have a relationship at all. When you build rapport by talking about work, you are making conflict less likely and, at the same time, building rapport that will survive conflict when it does occur. So talk about the work that's been done and the work that needs to be done. Talk about avoiding pitfalls, finding shortcuts, making sure resources are available. Talk about goals, deadlines, guidelines, and specifications. Talk, talk, talk about the work. Things will go much better.

Only the rarest of managers has that special brand of charisma, contagious passion, and infectious enthusiasm that inspires and motivates people. What about the rest of us? You may not be able to learn how to develop charisma, but you can learn to talk about the work in a straightforward and effective manner. You can learn to say the right words to your employees at the right time in the right way.

The most effective managers have a special way of talking. They adopt a special posture, demeanor, and tone. They have a way of talking that is both authoritative and sympathetic; both demanding and supportive; both disciplined and patient. This special way of talking looks a lot like performance coaching.

You don't have to holler, "Rah! Rah!" It's simply a technique. And here's the really good news: In order to be effective, coaching simply cannot be contrived. It must be totally genuine.

Don't wait for problems to start coaching - get extraordinary performance out of ordinary people. This is exactly how a performance coach talks:
- Tune in to the individual you are coaching
- Focus on specific instances of individual performance
- Describe the employee’s performance honestly and vividly
- Develop concrete next steps