The next question you need to ask yourself is: How? How should I talk to this person? Every person is different. How you talk with one employee may be very different from how you need to talk with another employee.

Some management trainers will tell you that when you're managing people you should only ask questions: "Only facilitate and ask questions. Never direct. Never give orders. Only ask questions."

The problem is that with some people you can ask them questions until you are blue in the face and you will never get the response you're looking for. You've all had that employee. You say, "Listen. How do you think that interaction with that customer went?" And the person says, "Fine." And you say, "Well, how about where you started cursing at the customer?" And they say, "Fine. They've got to learn sometime." And you need to say, "Well, no, no. Let me explain. It's not OK to curse at the customer and here's why."

See: With some people you can ask questions and it works great. But everybody is different:

With some employees you need to speak with them in a more directive manner.

With some employees you need to talk like an auditor: "Yesterday at 10:17 the following occurred."

With some you need to talk to like a cross-examining attorney: "Is there a reason why you were cursing at the customer?"

With some you need to talk to like an older sibling: "Gosh, how are you feeling about that conversation you just had with that customer?"

Sometimes you need to play Columbo. Remember Columbo? He tried to trick people into confessing? You say, "Yesterday between 10:15 and 10:20 you were having a conversation with a customer. What is it exactly that you were discussing with that customer?" I call that 'the Columbo approach' because really what you're going for is a confession. You're going for, "It's true. I cursed at the customer. I did."

Everybody is different. How you talk to with one person may be very different from how you need to talk with someone else.

BONUS MANAGEMENT BEST PRACTICE
Do you currently manage employees who report to multiple managers? Name them. Next to each name, answer the following questions in writing:
What are your expectations for working with this person? How often are you going to have one-on-one meetings with this person? Are you going to meet in person or are you going to rely primarily on email and telephone? How and when are you going to make assignments? How are you going to spell out goals? How are you going to make requirements clear? How are you going to monitor and measure performance? Spell it out every step of the way.

Prepare for your next one-on-one with each of these individuals. Explain that you want to revisit your expectations for working together. Explain that you are trying to become a better manager. Explain that you want to be more effective in providing guidance and support for everyone you manage. Explain that this is about your style and standard operating procedures as a manager. Explain to each person that this is good news! You are going to try to be a much better manager. Ask them to help you.