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Dealing with Angry People in the Workplace (Part two of a two-part series on Managing Workplace Anger) By Donald E. Gibson, Ph.D. |
No matter how well you manage yourself and your team, sometimes you get angry---and sometimes people on your team get angry. How should you deal with anger in the workplace?
1. Start with yourself. Be aware of your own feelings of anger and how those feelings may affect your interactions and relationships at work. A common response when dealing with angry people is to become angry in return. Manage your own anger effectively so that you don’t make difficult situations worse.
2. Gather information. By placing yourself in the role of “information-gatherer” you de-emphasize your role as “judge of right and wrong” and diminish the potential defensive responses of the angry person. Focus on identifying the true source of the anger.
3. Plan ahead of time, but not too far ahead. Schedule a meeting with the angry person a few hours in advance---not “right this moment”---so both of you have time to prepare for a potentially difficult conversation. But don’t put off the meeting to another day---that will only leave time for the anger to fester. Take at least a few minutes to rehearse what you are going to say… and what you are not going to say.
4. Meet on neutral ground. Find a conference room or some other setting that is neither your space nor the space of the angry person. This way, neither of you will feel like you are meeting in hostile territory. The meeting ground should evoke impartiality.
5. Engage. Let the angry person express his/her anger. Exhibit sensitivity, open-mindedness, flexibility and tolerance. Listen carefully. Don’t make judgments right away. Sometimes angry people simply want to vent their anger to another person---especially a person who is in a position of authority. Even if the source of the anger cannot be addressed right away, listening is an important first step.
6. Take action. If there is a clear source of the anger, that source must be investigated. Is there a legitimate issue that requires action? If the angry person has confided in you about the source of his/her anger, there is a powerful assumption that you will at least try to do something to address that problem. If you take no action, it is likely the angry person will feel a sense of betrayal. This will only lead to more angry feelings and potentially unhealthy behavior. However, if you listen carefully, evaluate fully, and take concrete steps to address the true source of the anger, you will help to assuage the angry person’s anger. Equally important, you will use the data provided by investigating the anger to seize opportunities for improvement. That’s how you turn anger from a negative to a positive influence in your workplace.
Introducing... Donald E. Gibson, Ph.D.
Donald E. Gibson is a master trainer for RainmakerThinking. He is an
expert on managing anger in the workplace. Dr. Gibson taught for six
years at the Yale School of Management and is currently Associate Professor
of Management at the Dolan School of Business, Fairfield University.
Peggy Urbanowicz, Managing Editor
E-mail: peggyu@rainmakerthinking.com
Ph: 203.772.2002 x101
Seventy-Sixth Edition, August 17, 2001
COPYRIGHT, RainmakerThinking, Inc.®
http://www.rainmakerthinking.com
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